Zero zeal

Situation:

sly, cunning, conniving,

sneaky little gurgles emanating evil thoughts

create the stinging cold within my bones.

 

The feeling furiously flows,

viciously; slicing at my soul.

Unrelenting unease grows

and razors away parts of my whole;

 

seemingly never to be ameliorated.

Nevertheless, a query makes its dwelling

inside the core of my validity.

Possible for it ever to be alleviated?

 

The cold within my bones

freezes up my essence –

and seeps into my arteries.

Functionalities about to seize;

 

limbs – wintry; never heating up,

 

withholding pulse from the core.

 

Despite the balmy, steaming, overflowing cup,

 

I can’t warm up anymore.

© Annalinde Louw

photo credit: tricky (rick harrison) via photopin cc

photo credit: vgm8383 via photopin cc

Pointless torrents

5 November 2005

Tides rush down my face and through my soul;

some of anger, some of anguish, some of no description at all.

These emotions are all-consuming;

but times, like tides, are progressing to a notable point.

The moment lets me freeze inside an infinite thought;

an idea, a theory, an unwritable hypothesis,

concluding in the casting out of one by another;

excluding nothing but the understanding of one by another.

That’s almost the only definite point at this stage:

I may not, can not, will not, shall not, dare not, understand.

Forgiveness and love are clouded by blistering torrents of rage,

pointless though they are, since the contributing events were not done by my hand.

I am enveloped by the pointless torrents;

the pointlessness is of no concern to me –

it is beyond my frame of reason –

I may still use the fact to effect my positive healing in the future.

Animosity, grief and indescribable waves of destruction take hold of me.

Keeping my head above the water is a task simply impossible in these furious currents,

although I’m not sure whether I’ve quite attempted the task yet.

The task is a testing deed that I may not, can not, will not, shall not, dare not, complete.

That’s almost the only definite point at this stage:

I may not, can not, will not, shall not, dare not, care.

Wasting my precious time and talents on this scenario is bound to land me in a gilded cage.

That is acceptable – but only if someone would consider to share.

Gilded cages are for confused fledgelings and ego-maniacal outlaws

and these two types, I dare say, will not co-habitate well at all.

© Annalinde Louw

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